If you are a
manager, then we don’t have to tell you that managers
are often over-worked and under-appreciated. You have so many
different hats to wear, and too many people to keep up with.
Because of the pressure on your time and energy, it is easy
to settle into a task-driven routine that limits the productivity
of your team because it reduces your effectiveness as a leader.
That’s right, a manager isn’t just a boss, she is
also a leader, and there is a big difference. We have designed
a special course – The
Manager As Leader – for folks just like you. If you
are looking for a resource to help you develop the effective
leadership skills to make yourself
and your team more successful, your search is over.
Are
You Assertive or Aggressive?
Some people think assertiveness is aggression
- a verbalattack (or worse) on another person. Others think
they'rebeing assertive, when in fact they're being rude oroverbearing.
Surveys show that skill ininterpersonal communication tops
the list for success - orfailure - in any workplace, whether
you own it, lead it, orwork in it.
Skillful
assertiveness goes hand in hand with a person'sconfidence,
good judgment, decision making,performance, health, and overall
effectiveness. From abusiness perspective, an assertive employee
or leader canhelp:
Reduce confusion and inefficiencies caused by
misunderstandings and crossed wires
Clearly communicate one's vision and goals
Motivate others to rally around an idea or program
Eliminate the meetings, tough decisions, and backpedaling
that result from someone's original intention to "keep
the peace" rather than be assertive
Assertiveness can help strengthenrelationships, reduce stress,
improve your self-image, andmake you more successful. So why
isn't everyone assertive? People cite fear of reprisals, reluctance
to rock the boat, desire to please others, and lowconfidence
as reasons why they are not assertive. While ittakes honest
self-awareness and hard work to realize whyyou are not assertive,
you can learn how to be more assertive and apply it to your
interactions.
Practical tips for being assertive
Realize that it's all in your head. In situations
whereyou feel you are not speaking your mind, ask yourself
why and then ask, "What's the worst thing that couldhappen
if I share my thoughts in a civil, clear manner?"The
answers to these questions may very well be all youneed to
calm down and act assertively.Very often, people will see
how silly their fears are andthat the fears are rooted in
their minds, not reality.
Let your intentions motivate your response. Allowyourself
to take a moment and identify your beliefs,opinions, and intentions
for sharing a thought. The desire toplease others often gets
in the way of a person'sthinking process and opinion formation.
Be specific. Don't say, "We need that ASAP." Insteadsay,
"I need the proposal finished and on my desk by 8a.m.
Friday. What do you need to accomplish that?" The more
you can avoid assumptions or mixed messages, thebetter.
Don't feign agreement. Don't substitute smiling,nodding, or
adopting other body language that suggestsagreement just for
the sake of keeping the peace.Disagree actively, but do it
in a civil manner! Express disagreement with the idea, not
the person -- for example, "I haveanother opinion, which
I'd like to throw on the table."
Ask for clarification. Request more information whenasked
to do something you believe is unreasonable.Perhaps the explanation
will help you understand therequest more fully and give you
the confidence andassurance to say yes or no.
Sarah Fenson
"Are You An Effective Leader?"
Assertiveness Training Quote
"Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps
you going."
Unknown author
Suggested Reading:
Asserting Yourself: A Practical Guide for Positive Change
by Sharon Anthony Bower, Gordon H. Bower
The Assertive Woman (Personal Growth)
by Stanlee Phelps, Nancy Austin
Assertive Discipline: Positive Behavior Management
for Today's Classroom
by Lee Canter, Marlene Canter
Assertive Option: Your Rights and Responsibilities
by Patricia Jakubowski
The
Assertive Woman (Personal Growth)
by Stanlee Phelps, Nancy Austin
Lee Canter's Assertive Discipline: Positive
Behavior Management for Today's Classroom
by Lee Canter, Marlene Canter
Lee Canter's Assertive Discipline Elementary
Workbook, Grades K-5
by Lee Canter
Responsible Assertive
Behavior: Cognitive/Behavioral Procedures for Trainers
by Arthur J. Lange
Your Perfect Right: A Guide to Assertive Living
(Professional Edition of Your Perfect Right, Vol. 1)
by Robert E. Alberti, Michael Emmons
The New Assertive Woman
by Lynn Z. Bloom
Your Perfect Right: A Guide to Assertive
Living
by Robert E. Alberti, Michael L. Emmons
Facing the Schoolyard Bully: How to Raise
and Assertive Child in an Aggressive World
by Kim Zarzour
|
